Megan Magill - A Question of Courage by Megan Magill

Author:Megan Magill
Language: fr
Format: mobi
Published: 2011-01-23T17:03:39+00:00

Jess remained silent, focussing on each step. She felt queasy and overly conscious of her weight pressing down on Nick. It seemed miles to the cabin, but eventually it came into view. Caitlin had been walking next to them, carrying all three bows. “I’ll open it up.” She jogged ahead and unlocked the door.

“Gently up the step.” Nick tried to take more of her weight, but Jess resisted.

“Thanks,” she said as she sat down in the nearest chair. She was too ashamed to make eye contact with either of them. Stupid weak body. She couldn’t even lose weight without failing.

“You should lie down,” Caitlin said. “It might be better.”

“I’m all right here.” Jess refused to show any more weakness than she already had.

“Goddamn it, woman, you’re as stubborn as a mule.”

Nick sniggered. “She’s got you there, Jess.”

Jess managed a weak smile. “It’s one of my most appealing characteristics. Right, Nick?”

“If it was about anything other than your health, sure.” He looked at her, concerned and she dropped her gaze, embarrassed at her weakness again.

“I can have my moments, too.” Caitlin did not sound amused. “Here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to the canteen to find something for you to eat.

When I get back, I’m going to watch you eat it. Nick, you make sure she doesn’t run off in the meantime.”

“Caitlin, that’s not necessary—” Jess started, but the look Caitlin gave her silenced her. She clenched her teeth and stared at the floor as Caitlin left.

She and Nick were silent for a few moments after Caitlin had gone. Thankfully, Jess’s balance was stabilising. “Sorry, Nick.” I know I’ve failed you.

He sat down heavily in the chair next to her and ran his hand through his hair. “You scared me, Jess.

Really scared me.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

He looked at her, almost pleading. “Are you starving yourself again?”

Jess looked at her hands. Even her fingers were fat. She sighed. “I was just trying to get in better shape.”

“Lose weight, you mean?”

She flinched and avoided his eyes. “Yeah.”

“I thought you were doing better with all that after Grace came to stay with you.” His tone was flat, almost accusing.

“No, you two were doing better with it. I was just getting fatter.”

He sighed, then, and it sounded heavy with worry. They spent a few minutes in silence before he spoke again. “You know I love you and that I’m honest with you. You don’t need to lose weight, and I don’t know what caused you to think that you do, but it’s to the point where it’s all you think about. It’s affecting your health, mental and physical. You’re a wonderful sister and a wonderful person, and it kills me to see you like this. It hurts people around you, Jess, because we care about you and we love you for who you are. You need to find some peace with this subject. Maybe there’s someone who can help you.”

Jess’s vision blurred again, this time from tears.

“I’m so tired of it, Nick.” She wiped her cheek.

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